Death Pro

Asks the Mugger – “Your money or your life?”

Answers I – “Take my life because what little money I have is not worth my death.”

The thug is perplexed – “If your life isn’t worth your life, then give it to me.”

“You asked for my choice and I’ve given it to you.  If I fish out the few dollars I have in my pocket, then I’ve established the value of my continued existence at that paltry amount.  To me, I’m worth much more than my wallet currently holds.”

“We can go to an ATM,” the mugger suggests hopefully, “and you can draw out more cash.”

“My life is worth far more to me than any amount of money that I have or could even borrow.”  I say.  “Now we have an unconcluded transaction here.  I’m not going to give you any money in barter for my life, so you’ll have to take my life.”

“The killing part was just a threat.”  The blade wavers in his hand.  “I don’t really want to murder you.”

“A threat isn’t worth the wind it blows in on, if you’re now willing to back it up.  Now stab me and get the job done.  My life is forfeit already, so let’s get my death over with.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Then you give me your money or your knife.”

“What?”

“You heard me.  Hand over your cash or I’ll impale myself on your murderous blade.  And you should know that I don’t issue threats that I don’t intend to carry though with.  I am prepared to die of a knife wound over the amount of money in your wallet.”

“You’re crazy!”

“Actually, I’m hyper-sane.  The modern reality is moderately insane.  The money you wanted to extract from me on a hollow threat of deadly violence, is just a piece of paper representing a concept of wealth — that doesn’t actually exist.  Doesn’t that strike you as somewhat delusional?”

“If you think cash is without any value, then just hand yours over and we’ll both live.”

“That is rehashing old ground.  My threat has been issued and I’m prepared to act on it.  Give me your worthless money or I’ll grapple your knife hand and I will fatally wound myself.  However, your proving my self destructive intent will be a problematic defence at your murder trial.”

“I don’t need this!”  The mugger says.

“Then give me the cash and we’ll walk our separate ways.”

How should this end? You tell me.  Should the mugger hand over the loot or will a death occur?  I welcome comments.  This vignette is fiction but it does represent my views on money and death.

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